Day 25: Washington, D.C.

So today was both a good and a bad day. Let’s start with the good. I woke early to find myself in the Nation’s Capitol (given I drove myself here, that was a pretty lucid realisation!) and in a very comfortable bed. So comfortable in fact, the slumber almost continued! After a battle of wills I did eventually tear myself from the soft pillow and do all the necessary morning duties before tucking into a really poor breakfast buffet. This was the first Holiday Inn I stayed in this time around, but it reminded me of the Holiday Inn in Neuss, Germany all those years ago – exactly the same weird bacon and bland scrambled eggs with strange sausages. The Cheerios weren’t honey coated either (oh the humanity!). So after all that fun and frolics, it was time to hit the road, and experience first-hand, Washington D.C. traffic. What a joke! Honestly I’ve put down very close to 10,000 miles at this stage and this was the first traffic jam I could barely suffer. I kept trying to find alternative routes on the iPhone but honestly, this city is doomed to gridlock. I’d checked earlier last night to see where to park, as I’d been warned that D.C. has notoriously difficult parking restrictions – as you’d imagine for the district housing pretty much the entire US Government operation.

I’d settled on parking in East Potomac park which would give me access to most of the sites by going in a loop. My brother had warned me though that it was a decent walk, but after deciding against the jacket I hit the trail. Skipping the Jefferson Memorial until the return trip, I went up to the Lincoln Memorial but on the way came across the newest addition to the National Mall, the Martin Luther King monument. It’s actually very impressive, but it only hits you when you view it from the side and see the context of the stone removed from the mountain. Passing the Korean War Memorial, I climbed the steps to see the memorial dedicated to Abraham Lincoln and turned to see the Washington Monument at the end of the reflection pool with the Capitol building in the far off distance – just as you’d see in the movies. My brother also said to take a walk down to the Vietnam Memorial and true to his words, it was both a severe assault on your sense and a powerful reminder of the costs of war. Starting with only a few names, tablets seeming like 100 feet tall bear the names of the fallen, from every race, color and creed. The number of Irish names that jumped out at me really help connect you to the palpable sense of loss still being felt by many visitors – those easily recognised by the paper and pencils they bring to names to life on paper.

After observing some silence among the throngs of rather ignorant and rude tourists (from an asian country that shall remain nameless) I observed some scampering squirrels and walked up along the reflection pool to the base of the Washington Monument before turning left and walking toward the seat of the current incumbent President, the White House. I passed some powerful and strong buildings along the way, including a rather surprisingly gigantic and impressive American Red Cross Headquarters building. After taking a look at the Eisenhower Executive Office Building (referenced in the TV series ‘The West Wing’ as the OEOB (Old Executive Office Building), I walked around the rear of the structure toward what I thought was the actual white house – however I had passed the famous building. It wasn’t until I spotted the throngs of photo-snapping tourists that I realised my error, and joined the assembled amateur photographers to take some of my own snaps. As my luck would have it, some repair work was being carried out on the building by a number of cherry-pickers, but they actually helped lay some scale to what I consider to be quite a small building. In fact, I was shocked at just how small it appears. Around the front it looks much more impressive, partly due to the exposed lower floor and the impressive colonnade at the front.

Next stop would be the Capitol Building, but by now I was feeling my brother’s words ringing in my ears, as my feet began to grow tired and my will began to wane. Naively, I had bullishly assumed that I could do most of Washington D.C. in one day – but even after only seeing three of the many many attractions and monuments, I was already doubting my arrogance. As I sought the comfort of a coffee at a not-so-nearby Starbucks, I decided to lay some plans to continue on up to Toronto for my second visit to Canada. I was still annoyed at myself for not going up through Delaware and back down toward D.C. yesterday, but no matter how many ways I looked at the map, I couldn’t make sense of that direction now that I was to the east of where I wanted to be. Looking north at the Appalachian mountains, I couldn’t see a quick route and decided to leave things until later. Back in the Washington sunshine (though cold I might add) I walked down Pennsylvania Avenue to the Capitol Building, and up and around the rear to ender under ground. After observing the non-moving but ever growing line for tours for about 15 minutes, I decided I wouldn’t go on a tour – which was a shame. Pushing out the heavy metal and glass doors into the outside world once more, I began to realise that you’d conservatively need about a week to really do Washington justice from a toursim point of view. The good thing is that most of the attractions are free to enter, but require a lot of time and effort – neither of which I had to spare. I wanted to head out to Annapolis to meet a friend of mine, but a warning light on the dash of the Malibu this morning was bothering me. After what seemed like an eternity, having passed the Smithsonian buildings (including the Air & Space Museum that I actually wanted to see) I arrived at the car and prepared to return it. I’d seen lots of planes departing from nearby Washington National Airport so decided to call ahead to schedule a replacement.

I won’t go into the details too much, but what ensued was a farce at best. The rental staff basically fobbed me off with a 2 year old Ford Escape 4×4 – after checking it out I decided it wasn’t for me and asked for a sedan instead. After being lied to on three separate occasions that a Chevy Impala was better than a Malibu (it’s not by the way), reluctantly I took it. This would now be my 4th car in 3 weeks (5th if you could the 5 minutes with the Escape). Out on the road however, the Impala showed itself to be a dud, the power steering wasn’t working and the brakes were terrible. After such horrible service and a really bad deal, I was at a real low. It was compounded by the fact that I was very badly burned from the sun, which I was only now realising, and I hadn’t eaten, and the traffic was horrendous. I pulled over and checked for the number for Dulles International Airport which I knew to be on the completely wrong side of Washington to where I was – but I was desperate. Again I was assured of a replacement, so I took to the road again. Honestly, if you love driving like I do, don’t ever attempt to drive in Washington D.C. – EVER. What was supposed to be a 23 mile route turned into over 1.5 hours of torture-some traffic log-jams. I honestly cannot understand why ANYONE drives in this city. If I ever return, it will be by public transport (and if you know me at all, you’ll know that’s a BIG statement!).

At Dulles, a rather lacklustre greeting led to an identical Chevy Malibu, but I didn’t care as long as it worked. I pulled over outside the airport to see where to go next, and by the time I’d decided to just stay another night outside D.C. and head for Toronto in the morning, it was dark. I needed to get some aftersun, have some food and go to sleep. But as I drove toward the nearest CVS pharmacy, this Malibu showed signs of abuse. The rear suspension was very badly imbalanced, likely due to someone reversing at speed into a curb or perhaps imbalanced wheels. Parking the car though the straw that broke the camel’s back was the key fob wouldn’t lock the car. I was furious. I went inside to get some aftersun and was almost trampled on by yet more tourists from that nameless asian country – and by now I was fit to explode. Outside I liberally applied aloe-vera and raced back to the airport, calling for a manager. Someone appeared and then offered me a Dodge Avenger which I have now reluctantly taken. It’s horrible, but I just wanted the mess to be over. On each occasion I’ve had to return my cars, I haven’t been apologised to even once. I’ve actually worked it out that I’ve spent over 12 hours at this stage returning or dealing with these Hertz cars – and it is all due to very very poor maintenance. I feel sorry for the guys who have to flip these cars so quick – they don’t even get a chance to road test them I don’t think. But the fact that tonight I’m staying in D.C. at a cost to me of €110 and facing into a 10 hour drive to Toronto tomorrow and basically losing a day is lost on them. They boast about being the number 1 rental company for customer service (their key rings are in the shape of a number 1) they have proved to be hideously inept all round. With the sole exception of the Ford Fusion I got at Chicago, each one of the 5 subsequent cars have been hideously abused. I’m not sure what penalties customers face for damaging cars, but they’re not severe enough, or the post-rental analysis isn’t good enough. Cosmetic scratches are one thing, but mechanical issues are a totally different set of issues.

In any case, my overall day was ruined by Hertz, but the first part was good. I really enjoyed Washington D.C. and will definitely return very very soon to launch an all-out assault on the city’s attractions. I cannot for the life of me figure out why Charlie Bird was so miserable here. Aside from the place being a bit dry, it’s lovely. It’s also heavily under construction. Signs bearing the name ‘President Barack Obama’ and the details of each project show that the city is undergoing a massive facelift – from re-cladding the National Art Gallery to re-aligning roads and sidewalks. It’s an impressive city that I openly admit to under-appreciating and under-estimating before I arrived and I will have to do it justice in the very near future.