Day 27: Toronto

Today I woke early to begin a pretty long day behind the wheel which was going to involve two border crossings – the only time at which my heart seems to run in top speed. I’m not sure what it is about Irish people, but we generally seem to have a genuine and rather innate fear of authority. I think it’s this, and not apathy, that’s responsible for the complete lack of protest against anything in Ireland (save for the opposition to medical card rescinding for those who could afford it in the over 70s category – something I actually think was a good proposal, but anyway). I think it’s also why we have one of the only non-weaponised police forces in the world – where cops on the beat carry nothing more threatening than the odd telescopic baton and a notebook (and a discerning stare). So facing US Customs & Immigration Bureau personnel gives me the willies. Anyway, I got up at around 6am, got ready and packed and then sat down to organise some things online. After some frustrated stares, I began to figure out there was something up with the internet, both the MiFi and the motel’s network was in bad shape. Rather than lose more time on it, I just called it a day and started to hit the road. My first stop was to get a decent cup of coffee, so I found the nearest Starbucks and juiced up on some caffeine.

Seeing as I was going to be crossing the gorge anyway, I decided on the way to Canada to check out Niagara Falls. I’ve never really understood the fascination with this attraction, in part because it’s difficult to see at the best of times from what I’ve read and seen on TV, due to the mist created by the falls themselves. Approaching the State Park I coyly dodged the idiots who were ripping people off with outlandish parking fees and instead sought a 2-hour free parking bay just a few steps from the gate. One such dumbass had a flag out waving it feverishly at me to turn into his lot and in return I coughed loudly to gain his attention, turned to lock the car so he’d see it flash in its free space and proudly produced a smirk to shirk his annoying look. I’m not sure if it registered, but I’d like to think he uttered some profanity under his breath. In any case I was on the trails into the park and down some steps into possibly one of the worst signposted State Parks I’ve been to. I know the falls can’t actually be missed, but barriers all over the places where you think you can enter don’t help. After I helped out a few other tourists who followed my brave soul down some tracks, I took some time to briefly look at the Niagara river and saw where the cliff edge was and walked toward it. To be honest the best part of the morning was seeing squirrels scampering around hoarding nuts and being mischievous. I love squirrels, they’re just so funny the way (especially around high-traffic public areas) they just go about their business in between the tourists’ feet. They are aware of our presence but manage to juggle carrying a pine cone bigger than their heads along a tarmac track, weaving their way through bushes and people pretty well. The funniest part is when one squirrel without a nut spots another with a nut (or other foodstuff) – what ensues is a bit of a stand off and more than a few fights. It’s funny to see seagulls (or ‘lakegulls’ as I’m calling them given there’s no sea around) walking around the ground looking for food while the squirrels do 10 times the work while the gulls just sort of look despondent. Anyway the falls are exactly what I thought. They’re pretty boring and to be honest, I’m glad there was no entry fee. You do have to pay to get up on a gangway that hangs over the gorge, but from everything I saw, the only decent views are actually on the Canadian side. I was more interested in the hydroelectric power plants on the Canadian side too as they reminded me of buildings I saw (oddly) along the North Korean border with China when I used Google Earth to look in on the ‘rogue state’ from the Yalu River.

Back in the car I was headed for Canada. It literally is just across the gorge and so I geared up to get quizzed and almost produced my passport to the toll bridge operator. I couldn’t believe you had to pay to cross (obviously I did loads of research!) and so after crossing the bridge, I geared up all over again to answer the Canadian Border guard’s questions. They’re pretty standard questions, but again the Irish fear of authority kicks in and you actually begin to even doubt your own truths – it’s such an uncomfortable feeling. The officers are just doing their jobs and they’re no threat to me or you but I just have a mild panic attack when dealing with them – maybe you do too. Anyway, I knew that Toronto was about 2 hours away as it’s across the lake and not the gorge – what’s across the gorge is typical of what you’d expect, tacky rides and attractions built around footfall to the falls. I don’t understand how local governments allow these tacky add ons to ruin places like this. The ludicrous parking fiasco was present here too, with parking meters asking for CA$5.00 for 30 minutes! All I wanted was 2 minutes to take about 10 photos and I was out of there, so I just refused to pay and drove off.

Two hours later I was finally on the approach to Toronto with its impressive and powerful skyline dominated by the CN Tower. The GPS sent me into what it deemed as downtown, landing me into a car park off University Avenue. After surfacing to street level, I now sought some Internet access again to check some maps and other data (obviously I was well prepared beforehand). One of the things that has so far annoyed me about my visits to Canada is the complete lack of proper roaming agreements between my home network and the Canadian networks. And given so many Irish people emigrate to Canada every year (potentially me included) I don’t understand why this is, where data is concerned at least. Also the MiFi on Verizon in the US, seems to just go blank the minute you cross the border (there must be some electronic dampening field because it’s way too instantaneous). So for the entire time I’m in Canada, I’m Internet-less. Which is a horrible feeling when you’re so used to having it. Instead I had to resort to Starbucks, which has locations on pretty much every single block. But the curse of the Starbucks WiFi is that it seems to never work unless you join it inside the shop (again something must be in the glass to dampen the signal outside – the signal is there but unless you’re joined inside, its a bit weak). Anyway, this might indeed be all horseshit, but it’s what I was conspiracy theorising. Once I was all set, with the second shot of espresso of the day inside me, I decided to fall for the tourist trick and go to the CN tower. My whole objective in Toronto was to get a feeling for the city, like I did Vancouver two weeks ago. I must admit Toronto is a really nice city though and not at all finished. It’s only when you go up the CN Tower though can you really appreciate how massive a city it is. Much like Dublin spreads outward, so too does Toronto – with the exception that Toronto doesn’t have stupid laws preventing skyscrapers like Ireland has (some exceptions excluded). I also noted that the CN Tower’s observation deck is much better than the John Hancock Observatory in Chicago, just because it seems bigger and less of a waste of office space. The view is also a lot more impressive, but I still prefer the Seattle Space Needle’s outdoor observation deck where you can actually see out over the barriers, instead of the mesh downstairs in the CN tower. I did decide to have lunch up at the CN Tower, and ate a steak which was mostly medium than medium rare, and french fries which were cooked in stale oil and drank a coke made with disgusting city water (originally I refused the first drink because the ice was made from the same water, but then realised the coke was from a gun and not a bottle, so it was all pretty crap). Needless to say, lesson learned.

Back at ground level I walked over to Yonge Street, which is the main thoroughfair of the city. I walked its lengthy length and then crossed back to University Avenue, stopping by the third Starbucks of the day (a full 100 paces from the one I stopped in first) and pulled up a chair to get a hotel room booked. Browsing through the myriad of options for Detroit, I chose one on the outskirts that had all the amenities I desired along with a competitive price point. I sat back into the Dodge “Avenger” or “Shitbox” as I prefer to call it, and drove out of Toronto to join the millions of other cars trying to leave Toronto at the same time. I lost a full hour on the QEW (Queen Elizabeth Way) due to traffic and an hour later than that again, night was falling. As I approached the US border, I again prepared my documents only to face another toll (which wasn’t advertised before my approach) and panicked as I sought change in my bags. Eventually crossing the Blue Bridge, I faced futher interrogations from CBP guards about my intentions (yadda yadda yadda) and entered the USA again with a “Have fun!” from the guard. I’d just like to make a point that occurred to me though as I drove away from the crossing into Michigan; if I was someone who was going to intentionally stay illegally beyond my visa expiration date, why would I knowingly submit myself to the questioning of CBP at border crossings? Surely it’s a safe bet to assume that once you’ve ruled out that I’m a not a threat to the security of the nation, it should also be assumed I’m not a threat in any way?! I just don’t get some of the questioning or even the constant assumption that you’re somehow out to fiddle the system. If I was, the last person I’d drive up to and hand my passport to would be a CBP officer (or any law officer for that matter) so it should be assumed I’m a good Irish lad, a loveable rogue – if you will.

Anyway, heading down into Northern Detroit, I just went straight to the hotel to check in, offer some advice to the receptionist that she should vacuum out her computer and it would stop sounding like a jet engine before take off, sat down in front of the computer and started writing. Tomorrow I hope to pop into Detroit for a little bit, before pressing on to the next destination, of which I’m sure I’ll figure out too tomorrow. This far into the vacation and so close to the end, I need to be wise in my course – but I’m also fearing the end is approaching, and soon I’ll have to go back to Ireland. Night all!

P.S. One thing I have noticed about Canada having visited both Vancouver and Toronto, is how much more expensive than the US it ‘appears’ to be. Maybe I’m assuming the worst but I feel as though Canada is more expensive. That being said, I found that I could buy the same coffee and cookie in Starbucks for US$ 5.00 as I could in Canada for CA$ 5.00 but something just makes me think it’s more expensive. If you’ve any experience or can shed any light, please let me know in the comments box.